Mansfield Fox

Law student. Yankees fan. Massive fraggle. Just living the American dream.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Finish What Polk Started!

Here's an easy solution for the problem of illegal immigration from Mexico that's got something for everyone: the United States should annex Mexico!

Think about it:

American employers would get the large supply of cheap labor they claim to want and need so badly. But those laborers, instead of working in an underground economy where they're abused and taken advantage of, will be ordinary parts of the US labor force, enjoying minimum wage rights and OSHA protections, the whole shebang. Immigration hawks would get a much shorter, more defensible border across the Yucatan Peninsula rather than the entire southwest (anyone who's ever played RISK knows that Central America is easier to defend than Western United States and Eastern United States). The Mexican elites would get to do in one fell swoop what they've been trying to do piecemeal for decades - make their country's racial minorities and poor the problem of some country that isn't Mexico. "National Greatness" conservatives would get, well, a greater nation. The Democratic Party gets more voters. America's senior citizens get an even warmer, cheaper place to retire to than Florida. Mexico's citizens get to be citizens of the world's richest, freest, most powerful, and generally most kickass republic.

Seriously, what's not to love about this idea? Somebody get me a writing desk and some quills - it's treaty time!