"This is just between you and me, smashed hat"

You wanna know a secret? Though I didn't plan it this way, one of the secret benefits of not having one single birthday party is that I'm now getting a large number of free lunches and dinners. Everybody feels so guilty for having "missed" my birthday (Heaven only knows why, but still) so they're volunteering to take me out now. And since scheduling is virtually impossible, I'm getting multiple meals out of it. Brilliant! Don't tell nobody.