Mansfield Fox

Law student. Yankees fan. Massive fraggle. Just living the American dream.

Sunday, November 07, 2004

You Sexy Beast!



This Halloween (technically it was the day before Halloween, but still...), I attempted to answer the age-old question: can a werewolf get a job offer from a prestigious New York City law firm? The answer? With a resume like this, you better believe he can!

The werewolf's resume:
QUENTIN COLLINS
227 Grove Street, New Haven, CT 06511
(203) 787-1443 quentin.collins@yale.edu


EDUCATION

Yale Law School, New Haven, CT
J.D. expected, 2006

Activities: Yale Student Animal Defense Fund
Environmental Law Association
Yale Law Republicans

North Carolina State University, Raleigh, NC
B.A. in Anthropology, B.S. in Poultry Science, 2001

Honors: Degrees awarded summa cum laude
Activities: Pi Kappa Phi fraternity


EXPERIENCE

North Carolina Dept. of Agriculture, Raleigh, NC, Summer 2004
Assisted in drafting upgraded hen-house security requirement regulations. Participated in investigation of a string of livestock disappearances in the Raleigh area.

Nero Wolfe Investigations, New York, NY, 2001-2003
Participated in numerous investigations of serious crimes, including homicides and kidnappings. Tended orchids.

International Wolf magazine, Ely, MN, Summer 2000
Edited copy for the print magazine. Wrote articles for the magazine’s website, on topics ranging from de-ticking to proper howling technique, as well as an interview with Dr. Phil on alpha-wolf/beta-wolf relationships. Compiled an online archive of back issues.

Research assistant, Sandy Spring, MD, Summer 1999
Verified footnotes for the book Witches, Werewolves and Fairies: Shapeshifters and Astral Doubles in the Middle Ages by Claude Lecouteux and Clare Frock.


INTERESTS

Central European folklore, astronomy and lunology, basketball.
And yes, I spent almost as much time typing Mr. Collins' fake resume as I did working on my own. What's it to you? (And yes, NC State does offer a degree in Poultry Science. And yes, there is an International Wolf magazine. And yes, even my Halloween costumes are male-pattern-bald.)

For even sexier-beastiness: click