SOMETIMES THE ONION IS MORE SNARKY THAN FUNNY. This is not one of those times. The June 2 issue contains stories like Gay Couple Feels Pressured to Marry, Shotgun Blast To Abdomen Just Pisses Wilfred Brimley Off More, and Area Father Urges Reopening of 1998 Missing Rake Case. It also has this News in Brief entry, which I didn't pick up on right away, 'cause I'm slow:

City Maoist Visits Country Maoist
WUHAN, CHINA—City Maoist Xing Zhen Shengde returned Monday from a visit to Dunyang, where his country Maoist cousin Ni Yuxian resides. "The great Chairman Mao said we would build a socialist society based on agriculture and peasant farming, and that the peasant had the strength of the mountain and the wind in the trees," the urbane Marxist-Leninist reported Tuesday. "Nevertheless, I did not enjoy eating the rotting pig heads that pass for food in that hell-on-earth. Also, all of the peasants wore sandals." Ni said he understands that sturdy shoes must indeed be needed for escaping the muggers and prostitutes on every street corner in Wuhan.

And finally, there's this infographic, which I liked: